A window not a box

Photo from here
When E was diagnosed, the paediatrican asked us how we felt about it, especially if in 10 years time it was decided that autism was no longer an appropriate diagnosis. That in fact, he never had it... he just presented with many features of it.

As I said in the last post, the paediatrican was uncertain about E's diagnosis. He felt E's eye contact was uncharacteristic of autism. He did feel, however, that with all the other features presenting and our and E's need for help it was an appropriate diagnosis.

We were grateful for the question. A thoughtful, insightful question. But for us it wasn't an issue. We didn't have a sense that maybe we were labelling our child with something unnecessarily. That somehow we would destroy his childhood due to a misdiagnosis. It is not a 'label' that he needs to be aware of for many years yet and the label gives us opportunities to intervene and help him in ways we could not without it.

My husband's answer to his question was simple 'Autism is a window, not a box.'

By diagnosing him, we aren't placing him in box and defining him by medical categories. The diagnosis is an invitation to see the world differently. An invitation to look at the world through different eyes, a different lense. People with autism see, hear and experience the world differently to the rest of us. They process information differently. Sight, sound, smell, taste and touch are experienced differently. They are often over-sensory or under-sensory. They play with toys differently. They take interest in odd things, often small things, see detail that you and I would never see.

This is our invitation (and yours if you know E) to enter into his world. It will stretch us, mould us and challenge us - every day. But this is the key to helping E function in this world. When we understand some of his unique perspective we can slowly build bridges for him to learn things that come so naturally to the rest of us.

This is why we refuse to call him autistic. And never will. He is a child with autism. A subtle but important difference. Autism should not be his defining feature. It is an opportunity, an invitation, a window.

We pray E never feels we have boxed him into something he is not. Instead, helped him to grow into all he can be - looking through his window into the world.