World Autism Awareness Day

It's World Autism Awareness Day...

If you don't know why the Opera House will be lit blue tonight - this is why. Symbolic gesture. According to the SMH parents of children with autism will 'feel less alone' tonight then they do on the other 364 nights of the year. Not sure about the truth of that. In fact the comment made me feel a little sick. It's nice to think people are thinking of those with autism. But in the end, what purpose does that serve? Symbolic gesture indeed.

Autism is growing. The number of kids being diagnosed is increasing. It's a bit scary. The reality is your children will be sharing classrooms with children who live with autism. Lighting the Opera House blue - as nice as the gesture is - doesn't really do much to inform people.

So here's my bit for World Autism Day.

My child is 5. He starts school next year. As Term 1 is almost gone, this thought eats away at my insides everyday. What school will he go to? Where will he get the support he needs? How will he make friends? How will he respond when he gets teased for his 'weird' habits? How is he going to understand what is going on in the classroom? Who will take the time to walk with him so he doesn't get completely lost? Where will he turn when he feels overwhelmed? What will he do?

I guess if I felt parents and teachers knew the following things about him, I'd be more at ease:

• My son is quiet and easily missed. Please take the time to make sure he understands what is going on.
• My son has trouble comprehending more than one instruction. Please just one at a time and slowly.
• Comprehension is his real sticking point... don't assume he understands.
• Use visuals. Demonstrate what you want him to do. Once he comprehends he can usually do the task.
• Place the routine in a visual for the whole class to see. I can assure you he won't be the only child that benefits.
• My son loves wearing a hat. He's not being rude -he has no concept of these social mores. Yes, it's falling apart in more ways then you can imagine, but it's his friend. His security. Let this one go. There are bigger fish to fry.
• Despite all that you are told about kids with autism, my son will look at you and he can be quite social. Please don't assume he doesn't have autism because of this.
• Try and include him. He will naturally get left behind. Encourage your kids to include him. If not for his sake, for his mothers'.
• When he gets angry or frustrated please don't take it personally. Even though he might be throwing things at you or trying to bite you. It's a symptom that he is not coping. It's all gotten too much. He can't process what has just happened or the many events leading up to this moment. He is not just being naughty.
• Please let him go to the toilet when he needs to. He is scared of flies and mosquitos. This stops him going until the very last moment till he no longer has a choice.
• Give him opportunities to lead. He is capable. He just needs a chance and some time.
• He can talk!! Don't assume he can't! Encourage him to talk to you. But don't barrage him with twenty questions. If he doesn't understand or respond, don't give up on him. Reframe your question, simplify it and don't get offended if he looks away from you. This isn't about you. Go out of your comfort zone to help him.
• Don't blow up balloons if you want him to feel comfortable and safe.
• Celebrate the victories. He is beginning (at 5) to speak in full sentences. Please don't look at me like I am from another planet when I get excited about this. And yes, I do realise your child was doing this at 2.5.
• The outdoors is a calming environment for him. Trees, grass, flowers, insects, dirt. Please give him time in this space.
• He is a sweet kid and very loveable. Take the time to see this side of him. Build his trust. He will do a lot for someone that he trusts.
• If you need to correct him, please use a calm, kind voice. Use positive language. Negative words and tone tears this child down very easily. Trust is quickly eroded.

All these things are pertinent to my son. A lot of this however, would be relevant to many children with autism. In general, they need our time and patience. We need to work hard at reducing the situations which cause these children stress. Stress causes these children to 'lash out' or behave in uncontrollable or inappropriate ways.

My favourite saying at the moment is 'every behaviour has a cause'. There is a reason for these meltdowns. Let's work together for good of every child. Small changes can make a huge difference.