Siblings

photo from here

This is tough territory. It almost always makes me cry. Siblings of children with additional needs. It is sad that my oldest son, who is 5, has a better relationship and enjoys playing with his 18mth old brother than his 3 yr old brother. The other day his older brother, whom we'll call Tigger pushed E without provocation - and this is quite our of character for him.

When we talked about it later, I asked him if he was angry at E. He said 'I'm always angry at E'.

Why? 'Because he tantrums all the time and has a selfish heart.'

I was lost for words. I understood. He spoke the truth. E does seem to have an incredibly selfish heart. It's all about him and his needs. He has no concept of another's perspective. Sharing and turn taking is incredibly difficult for him. Tigger prefers to play with little bulldozer (18mth old destruction and into everything). Little bulldozer is not talking and yet Tigger said 'I understand him, I don't understand E.'

Even though little bulldozer isn't talking, he and Tigger are similar beings. They respond to stimuli the same way. His reactions are predictable. With E, they are always unpredictable. You never know how he will respond. He is 'edgy' and very hard to play with.

It breaks my heart that even little bulldozer has a greater affection for Tigger than with E. He gets excited about seeing Tigger. His eyes light up with joy. He 'talks' to him and engages him. Don't get me wrong, they do sometimes all play together and it is beautiful. I know Tigger loves E and he is very protective of him outside of the home. I am very grateful that Tigger has such a compassionate heart. He is patient with him and does try (sometimes).

I am so thankful to God that the boys have each other. I know these relationships will deepen as they grow. But they will always be filled with tension and pain. Knowing what will never fully be because of something called autism. How I long for the restoration and healing of humanity. To restore in E what sin and this fallen world has stripped him of. Come Lord Jesus, come.