Friday, December 10, 2010

Early Days





My husband and I attended an Early Days workshop last Saturday. It was a fully government funded workshop (including breaks and lunch) which ran from 9.30am-4.30pm. We attended the Introduction to Autism workshop. They also run others on behaviour management and play skills.

The workshops are run in different geographical areas which is helpful for creating networks and meeting other families walking through similar things. All but one family in our workshop had a child who had been diagnosed within the last couple of months.

The room was set up with two large tables with seats all around the tables. This immediately set the tone of the workshop, away from lecture style to dialogue and discussion. It was facilitated by two people - one occupational therapist (OT) and one speech therapist (ST). Both of the facilitators had extensive experience working with children with autism.
We were glad we went. It was a chance for the two of us to spend a significant amount of time together processing information on autism and chatting through issues relevant to our son. The workshop was structured in a way that allowed for much discussion around the table and giving everyone a chance to present a 'problem' for the group to dialogue around and make suggestions for possible ways forward. I think we had a particularly 'chatty' group which meant there was less lecture and more discussion.

We were also lucky enough to have an autism advisor from ASPECT sit in on our workshop. This is not normal and she was just observing. However, it added great value to the day as there was information that she was well versed in that the other two facilitators were not. Particularly in areas of current funding, policy and the different departments - she was a goldmine!

The workshop walked through information on autism - most of which we were already aware of having done our own reading. So it was the group discussion that we found most helpful. The workshop also covered information on different therapies, how to choose the most appropriate therapy ( a real maze - still finding our way through), what to be cautious of and what funding/ rebates are available.

What was probably most helpful to us personally is realising the 'sensory' issues that E might be daily struggling with. We talked with the group about E's need to surround himself. He likes to gather all objects the same together. He likes to have all the balls together. Or he will surround himself outside with all the bikes. Sometimes he will enclosed himself with chairs. He loves to go under the dining table and tuck all the chairs under the table. All these actions can lead to problems particularly when others want to use a bike, a ball or sit on a chair! The group highlighted to us that apart from this being an obsessive behaviour (which it is) it probably indicative of E's sensory needs.

Children with autism are often over sensitive or under sensitive to things. You might be aware that some children are not very affectionate - this is because they are over sensitive to touch. Others will be under sensitive - this is probably E, since he LOVES long, tight cuddles. He is craving pressure on his body. Thus, his behaviour may be as a result of this under sensitivity. By pulling all the chairs around him, he is trying to create a sense of that pressure (even if it doesn't actually provide the pressure).

So we were introduced to the term 'sensory diet'. Just like we consider our daily needs with food, so we need to consider E's daily sensory needs. By providing for these we may reduce his anxiety and stress which then should have a positive impact on his daily moods and behaviour. We will need to engage the expertise of an OT to figure out what will suit E but it could include things like rolling E up in a rug or thin foam mattress across the floor mulitple times a day. (Yes, it does sound a bit weird!!)

So all in all, the workshop was helpful and engaging and well worth attending. It is totally free, they run numerous workshops per year (check their website) and your child does not need a diagnosis to attend.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Failing and floundering into the hands of grace

An old friend has reminded me today that God's mercies are new everyday and are enough for today. Such true words and so easily forgotten.

It has been a particularly hard week. I sense that E's behaviour is getting worse and he has started his disturbed night pattern again. So the last few night's I have been up and down with my almost 3 yr old and up and down with my one year old. They both only want me, so some night's are a real juggling act, trying to get one settled before the other one screams so loud that they'll keep the other one awake and then I'll have two screaming for mummy.

My mood is definately low again. It's hard to find the energy to deal with E- even when I do, I don't know what to do. You cannot deal with a child with autism the same way you deal with a 'normal' child. Standard discipline strategies don't work. My child kicks, throws, headbangs, hits, screams for hours if he has to, bangs his head on the wall, runs around the house making as much mess as possible - tipping toys boxes over, throwing things around the room. He is hard to physically restrain and when you have a 1 yr old to look after, it's impossible to do this anyway. I know I need to be more consistent with his behaviour but I don't know what to do and I don't know how to do it as well as give attention my other two children. E needs so much energy and attention which I don't have.

So I am floundering and feel like I am failing E. He needs more from me than this. Some days I just ignore his behaviour. I can't seem to do anything but cry about it. I don't know what is going on in his head and half the time I don't know what triggers the behaviour. I don't know how to meet the needs of all my children. This breaks my heart.

In my failing and floundering I have fallen. Fallen into the hands of grace. This is where I find myself today. Crying out for help. I can't do it on my own. I can't do it in my own strength. I can't do it without you, Jesus. Be my strength, be my wisdom, be my friend.